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| 七月十三日，晴
祈求主让他永远开心的。希望他能请醒的去找到他的去路而勇敢的走下去。我之希望他能让我做位他的朋友陪伴他走下去他的路线，我就已心满意足了。。。
我只能帮他也只有那一点点得。我也不希望他长来为我做什么和记起我们的约定或承诺。
我之希望能陪伴他走下去他的路线，我就已心满意足了。。。
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| there was one point of time where people do not like to ponder; there are times when they do. pondering for no reason was not an awkward living for a girl and to some guys as well. but why they do this? some say there is no reason; others do because they feel a need to, whatever reason it maybe only that person knows. the silent figure of a woman [logged] | | |
| 04.19.09
where was you when i most needed you? .... -coldness- "i'm sorry i was in dreamland..."
so cold, so paled ... lower abdominal pain was killing me today. got off the van and that pain went to its max - many times i felt i was gonna collapse on the floor, in the middle of the streets. it was that bad. -sighs-
hoping <3 would answer the phone and/or txt msg but none was responded.
barely made it to DR and got water, when the cashier asked me if i was alright. left DR and continued talking on the phone to a very great friend til i slowly made it to church hoping to find help and that my pain would go away. On the phone, slowly walking to church.. when i first got up there.. i wish i would catch sight of him.. but there was no sign of him. i felt more cold, paled, and weak...
Thanks to Justin for keeping me motivated on the phone while i slowly and painfully reach my destination.
Thanks to Chun for reaching her arm out to help me while i walk'd towards her with a paled face n lip a moment about to collapse.
Thanks to Kai for giving me a tylenol.
Thanks to Ling for feeding me hot soup when my hands were shaky and weak.
Thanks to everyone else who show'd sympathy and care.
Thank you Lord for giving me the strength when i was in my weakest mode to reach my destination. Thank you for providing me such a great friend that kept me motivated until i arrived at my destination; for the people who help'd, cared, and show'd sympathy in my weakest moment. Even though there was 1 person that i hope to really see and kind of not hope to see because i dont want to scare him off, that he was not there when i most needed him..i forgive him for his tiredness and in dreamland call. Thank you Lord for providing me the same strength to reach myself to safety so that i am able to see this one person later on in the day and not let this one person feel so guilty and bad that because he was in dreamland he didn't acknowledge my voicemail or txt msg, if something bad had happen'd to me.
MzDelicate
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| 4.16.09
2night it was so warm n fun- thanks sis and my 2 best guy friends for being there. Spesho thanks to <3 for taking off from his busy time to come join us.
at the very end of tonight (considerably next earli morning), i feel like my petals are fading away...
if i was to blind-fully type this, i would say - no matter how much pain will come upon me in the future i want to enjoy my every last seconds with him. i trust him, my 2 best guy friends support him... i just hope that i have chosen the right path and not a path that i will never want to go back on again...
~*~ I praise thee to the Almighty Lord ~*~
please give me courage and faith to endure and challenge my everyday obstacles. Please guide me ...to walk on the right path. Help me choose. Lastly, i dont ask to bring upon or for happiness but to bless the people i encounter especially my <3'd ones to be healthy, happy and find solutions or possibilities to solve their everyday obstacles/challenges/dilemmas.
~*~Amen.~*~
[logged 4.12.09]
[logged 4.08.09 - 04.16.09]
it began with a seed.. then not long the seed crack'd- it became lively. the seed sprout'd. Weak, young, fresh, little and cute.. the sprout'd seed strives to live. petal-less, rootless ... it feels like slowly fading away... can tis b it? so fast... this ingrown flower's life just began... it can't end that fast! ..but it feels ...
MzDelicate
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| after days, months, years... IM BACKS ON XANGERzz
mood: feel loved.
spending my time with someone spesho... it feels like no matter how much time i spend with this person it is just never enough. then again.. what is consider enough for a normal human being? if ever there was something enough for a human being, what would it be? haha
the more time i spend with this person the more open i feel and happier and closer. what else is there for me to hide from this person? uhh.. i kant think of anything yet to say but present feelings sometimes(?)
i really dont have anything to ask for .... i guess if there's one thing then it would have to be: Please don't hurt me.
truly always <3 yous.
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